25th Anniversary of Titanic
Snuck a pic as the lights dimmed in the auditorium.
February 11, 2023
Well, I’m back. It was the oddest feeling I had had in quite some time.
I had gone with my family on opening day (Dec 19, 1997)to see Titanic in theaters by a matter of simple luck. I sat with my parents and brother in the dark auditorium while the lights dimmed and a beautiful, crushed ship graced the movie screen. That one movie led to a repeated nightmare that I couldn’t shake. I had died on the Titanic a thousand times as a result. Had I not seen the film, I don’t think the journey that led to this blog would have happened. I don’t think I would have searched for Ida and the memories might have stayed buried. Sometimes, I wonder if that was for the best.
After everything that had happened with the regressions, the blog, and now, a completed first draft of a manuscript, I was back at the beginning. James Cameron rereleased the film on a special Valentine’s Day weekend. Here I was, back in the dark seats of a movie auditorium. Not leaving my hometown had its perks as I could view the film in the same theater and same city as in 1997. The theater had changed over time as to be expected. New screens, new seats, new employees. Still, sitting in the dark, as the film name graced the screen and Sissel’s vocals echoed out, I was 8 years old again. The smile lines on my face and the few strands of white hair faded away in a beautiful memory.
As the broken wreckage scene played, I choked down my tears under the blanket I had brought. Like before, I knew what the ship was meant to look like. I was still overcome with unyielding grief that threatened to drown the whole theater. The experience of watching in 3d and 4k was something so new and wonderful. You felt as if you were on the ship with the characters. It was wonderful and beautiful. I couldn’t give a flying fig about Jack and Rose and their fictional romance. Seeing the inaccurate ship, made my heart with longing to not only fix the mistakes but roam the corridors myself. The downside, of course, is the same. During the ship’s sinking, you still felt as if you were on the ship. This was horrifying. I closed my eyes for part of it and found myself holding my breath.
I was pleased to see that several of the deleted scenes had been added to the film. Sadly, the extended scenes of the Marconi room were not included. The film still caters too much to fictional romance and less to actual facts and history. I was pleased to see the S.S. Californian in the background of the sinking ship which I had not noticed before.
When the film finished, I walked my sorry behind out of the auditorium somewhat pleased with the outcome. One thing that has changed with the passage of time is the amount of grief involved had greatly increased. Blood ties, soul ties, Titanic never really dies. I went home wondering if I had broken the spell. After 25 years and going back to the beginning, would the nightmares actually end?